HAHAHA just googled myself (yeah i cant believe i just did that too). turns out ysaelektra yields more results than googling my real name.
so embarrassed by pictures of myself in secondary school. I KNOW its okay because i was young but i cant believe i was so..... young. still feeling embarrassed. if anybody is reading this please dont google it k. save yourself from the agony.
and i think i look really different now, really looks like i went for plastic surgery or something wahaha but for the record, i didnt!
okay bye to my past !
20120220
20111212
20111120
i shouldnt be.
complaining. about how tough \ tiring is. in the entire sem i think they days i study add up to probably less than a month.
about 8 days i will be done with my third semester in nus. this sounds undeserving but i really hope i will do well . cross fingers \:
on another note, i find myself bitchy\mean sometimes because i dont hide what i feel. when i dont like somebody i dont act like i do. not that i actively show my dislike, i just.. dont want to be fake.
like how some people i know are.
about 8 days i will be done with my third semester in nus. this sounds undeserving but i really hope i will do well . cross fingers \:
on another note, i find myself bitchy\mean sometimes because i dont hide what i feel. when i dont like somebody i dont act like i do. not that i actively show my dislike, i just.. dont want to be fake.
like how some people i know are.
20111110
tumblr
not the starbucks one.....
haha i got a tumblr :)
girls y'all should know how to find it right ? btw give me your links !
haha i got a tumblr :)
girls y'all should know how to find it right ? btw give me your links !
20111108
two favourite things.
blogging just reminded me how bad i suck at thinking of blog titles lol.
@cam do i look like a model ? lmao!
still damn excited by my december plans
and i wanna do music also , even though im not good at it. seems like december wont be boring for me :D
i hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but i, couldnt stay away i couldnt fight it
@cam do i look like a model ? lmao!
still damn excited by my december plans
and i wanna do music also , even though im not good at it. seems like december wont be boring for me :D
i hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but i, couldnt stay away i couldnt fight it
me right now
my hair grew out. &i lost alot of weight, which hovers between 40-42kg. my body clock changes every week. i hardly ever study. all i want to do is shop eat play sleep.
sigh i am a pig lol
life changes. like everything else. so whats the big deal about change ?
Nov 2011
it has been so. long. blogging doesnt feel like a part of me anymore. guess its just a secondary school kind of thing. but i miss having the opportunity to sort out my thoughts and put it into words.
20 years old now &i havent done anything spectacular with my life. toying with the idea of setting up an online retail store. not the blogshop kind. something more sophisticated than that. but still, sg is saturated with that and im not sure how successful my store will be.
life is a blur now......
20 years old now &i havent done anything spectacular with my life. toying with the idea of setting up an online retail store. not the blogshop kind. something more sophisticated than that. but still, sg is saturated with that and im not sure how successful my store will be.
life is a blur now......
20110311
really. fake
are people of our age these days very fake ?
nails hair eyecolours nose eyes lips , in and out
but there are some people i really look up to . coolshitzx
nails hair eyecolours nose eyes lips , in and out
but there are some people i really look up to . coolshitzx
20110206
you turned around
didnt think you would turn around, come back , just to break my heart..
ironically, today i saw the first example that defied whatever i believed in. there was this family of 4 , mum malay, but the rest of the family arent muslim. it can happen i guess .
but some things arent meant to be, some people arent meant for me. the world is fckd &thats the cold hard truth.
ironically, today i saw the first example that defied whatever i believed in. there was this family of 4 , mum malay, but the rest of the family arent muslim. it can happen i guess .
but some things arent meant to be, some people arent meant for me. the world is fckd &thats the cold hard truth.
20110110
sem hasnt even started &. .
whoever's reading this is probably who im close t
i gotta say, sem hasnt started but theres already alot of work for me to be done this sem. i dread this sem cause its gonna be so damn tough, yet im looking forward to how much il get to grow &to be all the ppl il be with
il be damn busy, with everything. i still havent settled down \ be mentally prepared for this sem. its so weird that im busy with everything but when i come to think of it, who am i really giving my time to ?
i hope , yall can understand that its not that i dont want to spend time with yall, but im going to be so stretched. well its not the physical distance that matters as long as our hearts are connected my dear friends ! c:
i gotta say, sem hasnt started but theres already alot of work for me to be done this sem. i dread this sem cause its gonna be so damn tough, yet im looking forward to how much il get to grow &to be all the ppl il be with
il be damn busy, with everything. i still havent settled down \ be mentally prepared for this sem. its so weird that im busy with everything but when i come to think of it, who am i really giving my time to ?
i hope , yall can understand that its not that i dont want to spend time with yall, but im going to be so stretched. well its not the physical distance that matters as long as our hearts are connected my dear friends ! c:
20101126
spin
things are spinning out of control already , i honestly. dont. know. what to do. or how to deal with all these. i have no answers. and im plagued by my conscience. maybe things will just work out on its own. nobody knows whats really going on , okay maybe except one or two. i know how heartless i seem right now, but until you really know, who are you to judge? &if you really know , then you shouldn be judging. 'cause those who mind dont matter, &those who matter dont mind'
is it love. i dont know
is it love. i dont know
all i hear is raindrops
i guess today still means alot to the both of us. coming down early in the morning to give me a whole bag of stuff, without having to see me , that shows alot. im damn thankful that god put him in my life. hes sweet, thoughtful, damn nice to me . too nice to me . i dont deserve to be treated like that cause i know that theres nothing i can give back to him. &i feel so, so bad. &this is wrong cause there shouldnt be guilt in a relationship.
i dont want to break his heart cause i cant bear to .
i dont want to break his heart cause i cant bear to .
26 for the 18th time
will today mean something that it had for the past 18times or will it just be another day ?
no. :c
no. :c
20101125
final éxams
when your assets differ from yr liabilities & equity by like $50k, you know there's no point in finding out where you went wrong. & you probably won't even know where you went wrong. cause i didnt. its so painful to go through exams \: not cause of the studying , but because i have to sit through papers that i know im so under prepared for. well at least i can always leave after the first hour! but it sucks to see others scribbling to the last second while im stoning \looking around.
& today i saw a few girls wearing wedges to exams , nice , not. cause they strangely had a similar trait - they either looked unfeminine or they behaved that way. this girl was lik sitting so boorishly (i don't rly knw wht tht means lol)
painful period. with a broken heart & a death in t family , & t piling pressure of exams.
& today i saw a few girls wearing wedges to exams , nice , not. cause they strangely had a similar trait - they either looked unfeminine or they behaved that way. this girl was lik sitting so boorishly (i don't rly knw wht tht means lol)
painful period. with a broken heart & a death in t family , & t piling pressure of exams.
20101119
one more day til exam . .
i have never felt so unprepared or studied so little for any exam before. i need somebody to push me nonstop, sadly there isnt anybody here. cause everybody here is either studying damn hard to have time to bother about anything or, they are playing.
hall is probably gonna be bad for my studies, but its my fault also cause if i really had the motivation &discipline to do so i would have studied already. too late for regrets. i need some, probably lots of luck tmr. &whatever wisdom that God is willing to bestow upon me \:
im so distracted right now. my tonsil is still bloody swollen, it doesnt help that i have ulcers on the tonsil area, which feels like its threatening to tear my throat apart. stomach cramps. body aches. & matters of the heart . .
sometimes time &space will provide an answer. i guess
hall is probably gonna be bad for my studies, but its my fault also cause if i really had the motivation &discipline to do so i would have studied already. too late for regrets. i need some, probably lots of luck tmr. &whatever wisdom that God is willing to bestow upon me \:
im so distracted right now. my tonsil is still bloody swollen, it doesnt help that i have ulcers on the tonsil area, which feels like its threatening to tear my throat apart. stomach cramps. body aches. & matters of the heart . .
sometimes time &space will provide an answer. i guess
20101117
feeling under the weather
my first paper starts on saturday &i hardly studied for anything at all. right now my tonsil is damn swollen, my nose is running, im feeling damn cold. luckily im being spared for my stomach cramps which killed me since 11pm last night til this morning. i feel like im dying. ah but we're all dying anyway .
20101108
total eclipse of the heart
'love is knowing that he still wants you even though youre a bitch.'
this got so many likes on fb. but right now i dont even know if he still wants me
i think i have more posts in the past few days than in the entire year.
this got so many likes on fb. but right now i dont even know if he still wants me
i think i have more posts in the past few days than in the entire year.
every now &then i get a little bit lonely
current playlist:
total eclipse of a heart
better as a memory
straight from the heart
&i have lost all taste for food. i dont have the slightest desire to eat
every now &then i fall apart
total eclipse of a heart
better as a memory
straight from the heart
&i have lost all taste for food. i dont have the slightest desire to eat
every now &then i fall apart
20101107
my sis.
shes rehearsing her op in front of me &its cracking us up like, every single time hahahahhaha shes SO ANIMATED its damn funny. im trying hard not to laugh but i hear the laughter in her voice so we end up cracking up anyway
times like these make me miss living at home :c
times like these make me miss living at home :c
what today means
idk . it doesnt feel like im alone, it definitely doesnt. cause i know that we'll never be apart. selfish, bitchy, whatever negative stuff il just take it cause, i have nothing to defend myself.
love is not about being with the person you love, although thats a marvellous feeling. but love is about giving space, &trusting that the person is still in your heart \ loves you \ will come back for you. the best thing about love, is just loving somebody itself.
im not defining love, theres no one true definition to love. &i dont even know if i know what love is. but right now i believe that its so and that love is such to me.
its not possible to stop loving somebody suddenly, or stop at all if its you mh.
love is not about being with the person you love, although thats a marvellous feeling. but love is about giving space, &trusting that the person is still in your heart \ loves you \ will come back for you. the best thing about love, is just loving somebody itself.
im not defining love, theres no one true definition to love. &i dont even know if i know what love is. but right now i believe that its so and that love is such to me.
its not possible to stop loving somebody suddenly, or stop at all if its you mh.
currently
0210hours, i have yet to bathe, remove my makeup, contacts, brush my teeth &wash up.
&why is my navbar at the top so screwed ?
&why is my navbar at the top so screwed ?
the decorated
me: i wna get lip piercings
mum: NO, im telling you no
me: im just telling you
mum: no i say no ah , no. you're a business student once you pierce your standard drop already
me: i'll take it out after a month
mum: no, set a good example to your siblings
mum: no you better not
lol
mum: NO, im telling you no
me: im just telling you
mum: no i say no ah , no. you're a business student once you pierce your standard drop already
me: i'll take it out after a month
mum: no, set a good example to your siblings
mum: no you better not
lol
20101101
nocturnal
my navbar at the top is screwed up &idk how to fix it. noob much
yep im most awake at this time of the day, more like night. its not til 5 6 7 til i get slpy. &i just feel so , dead in the day sometimes. i love the night. i love the silence and peace, and the chills that the wind brings.
well of course it screws up my body clock &i have developed this inability to wake up before say, 11 ? which spells trouble cause exams are dead near.
yep im most awake at this time of the day, more like night. its not til 5 6 7 til i get slpy. &i just feel so , dead in the day sometimes. i love the night. i love the silence and peace, and the chills that the wind brings.
well of course it screws up my body clock &i have developed this inability to wake up before say, 11 ? which spells trouble cause exams are dead near.
20101013
BOYS SUCK
i really really really hate doing my accounting tutorial. zz im lagging by alot right now already. & every week's zooming by damn quickly. i just dont have the discipline to sit down & do my work &study .
with each day that passes i amaze myself because i manage to go through everything that i have to , block comm green comm safety comm all my projects lectures tutorials . idk how i do it sometimes.
sometimes my drive is damn high but sometimes things\thoughts hit me hard and impede me . tmr i have mno proj meetup, acc proj meetup, bizlaw proj meetup, acc tut to do, block meeting &green comm exhibition meeting
HOW CAN I CRAM SO MUCH IN A DAY. SIGH!
with each day that passes i amaze myself because i manage to go through everything that i have to , block comm green comm safety comm all my projects lectures tutorials . idk how i do it sometimes.
sometimes my drive is damn high but sometimes things\thoughts hit me hard and impede me . tmr i have mno proj meetup, acc proj meetup, bizlaw proj meetup, acc tut to do, block meeting &green comm exhibition meeting
HOW CAN I CRAM SO MUCH IN A DAY. SIGH!
20101009
i know right
i know im not damn plettiiii or hot or cute or whatever, but it always cheers me up when somebody says that i look nice today, or that my headband is nice, or that they like me top, or jeans, or dress hahh etc. &i hope they mean it .
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